


Know Better

by horsieteukie



Category: Real Person Fiction, Super Junior
Genre: (slight mention only), Alcohol, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Weight Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-10
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:34:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26391253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/horsieteukie/pseuds/horsieteukie
Summary: As of late, Leeteuk was nothing short of absolutely miserable, and he knew exactly why. Simply put, he missed Heechul, but had not the foggiest idea how to reach out to him. So, Leeteuk turned to something unconventional in his books, knowing he'd most probably regret it, or would he?
Relationships: Kim Heechul/Park Jungsoo | Leeteuk
Comments: 2
Kudos: 40





	Know Better

**Author's Note:**

> tw // weight mentions , alcohol use 
> 
> Hey... Hey... How y'all doing? HELLO EVERYONE! It's been a while (it's been two months OOF) since I posted a story since I'm busy with school and all that but I'm back with a teukchul one-shot (WHOOP WHOOP) that's angsty u-u I know it isn't wonteuk but we all can appreciate the teukchul friendship feels. Their friendship to me is one of the purest and sweetest things and the way that they can't even breathe in the same room together is teukchullerphobic. So here's something for all you teukchullers to tide over these tough times! Hope you'll enjoy reading this story!

_ Sitting here with my thoughts in a bottle _

_ Every time I take a sip, I'm reminded of you _

_ Like how you been? _

_ Wait a minute, what am I doing? _

_ It feels different when you're not around _

“Crack!” Leeteuk twisted the cap off a soju bottle as he sighed emphatically. He set the cap onto the countertop with a thud, before pulling a single shot glass close to him. He stared at the tiny dog bed right at the entrance of his living room where Shimkoong laid, fast asleep. Usually on nights like these, Shimkoong would be awake and keep him company, but tonight it seemed like his daughter was tuckered out and wanted to rest. So, Leeteuk had to resort to other methods to chase away the feelings of loneliness that were bubbling up inside of him. He rarely drank, but tonight was a quiet night, and Leeteuk felt that he deserved, no, needed this.

He delicately poured the soju into the shot glass, the soft glugging of the soju hitting the walls of the small cup soothing to Leeteuk’s ears. His heart felt overly heavy and he just needed this slight respite. Even if he detested the taste of it, he was hoping that this would help him drown his sorrows. He tried flinging himself into work, solo project after solo project, schedule after schedule, meeting after meeting, whether for his own work or for his group, whether with his fellow members, or alone, he did it all. He spent all his free time on hobbies, exercising, cooking, cleaning, all to distract himself, but to no avail. But nothing seemed to alleviate that ache in his heart, especially when he laid in bed with Shimkoong atop his chest, the silence in his bedroom amplifying the pain he held. 

Once the cup was filled adequately, Leeteuk placed down the bottle before knocking back the shot hurriedly, gulping down the smooth liquid as quickly as possible. The liquid didn’t burn but left a warm feeling in the back of his throat. He hated the feeling of being drunk, despised the loss of motor skills and coherency, but he had had enough of lying awake at night, staring at the ceiling until the wee hours in the morning, his thoughts booming in his quiet bedroom. Nothing seemed to be able to take his mind of worries, past events, regrets. 

As Leeteuk poured another one out, his mind continued to wander. It wasn’t that Leeteuk wasn’t doing well career-wise, far from it. Super Junior was still doing pretty decently after many years, still being able to maintain its popularity and status as one of the leading K-pop groups. He himself had plenty of jobs and job offers. Financially, he was doing alright. Physically, he had finally gotten back to a healthy BMI after his gallbladder removal surgery two years ago after working really hard to gain back his muscle mass. But emotionally, Leeteuk was a mess. He had years of baggage on his shoulders and metric tonnes of weight on his heart, with no one to unload them to, or at least, he used to have someone to unload them to. 

Leeteuk shot back another glass quickly, letting out a guttural sigh as he felt his thoughts drift further. Back then, he had one person who he could turn to without fear, one person he could share all his struggles and frustrations, one person who gave him a shoulder to cry on. But now, that one person was no longer around. Already, it was difficult to gather with all the members, but now, when he didn’t even show up for group activities, Leeteuk could barely remember the last time he saw Heechul. Leeteuk felt the dull ache in his heart turn sharp as he thought back to the old times he had with Heechul a few years ago. How he yearned to go back to those times…

_ Never thought that this would be us _

_ I feel a way, I feel a way, baby _

_ I was fighting but you gave up _

_ Now you feel a way, you feel a way _

_ And I _

“I think I will stop here, Teuk-ah.” 

Leeteuk felt these six words pierce straight through his heart six times. His throat went dry as he just blinked dumbly at Heechul. 

“What?”

“I don’t think I can go on any longer in Super Junior, Teuk-ah. I feel like a burden.” Heechul confessed softly as they stood at the corner of a corridor, their voices hushed whispers in case anyone could overhear them. Heechul looked down at his feet as Leeteuk’s gaze fell upon him. Leeteuk had pulled Heechul away from the meeting room earlier as they both had arrived before the agreed meeting time. Heechul had texted him saying that he wished to talk with Leeteuk about something so Leeteuk decided that there was no better time than right then. He was now regretting that.  _ How the hell am I going to go back to that meeting and act like everything is fine when Heechul wants to leave Super Junior? _

“Chul, you’re not a-” Leeteuk was interrupted by Heechul’s hand reaching out, palm facing out and gesturing for Leeteuk to stop. 

“Listen to me first, Teukie. My leg condition has been worsening over the years. I can’t stand on stage for a long time, I can barely perform songs with you all. I’m just leeching off your earnings when I barely pull the weight for the team, I think it’s time for me to let go,” Heechul whispered resignedly. Leeteuk watched on, feeling a sense of despair wash over him.

“Chul-ah, no. You’re not a burden at all, what do you even mean by this?” Leeteuk felt his voice rise slightly along with the anxiousness in his heart, his pulse speeding up rapidly. Leeteuk had to watch their team reduce in size over the years, each drop in number a sword to his heart, he couldn’t bear another one, especially this dagger. 

“Teuk! I feel so guilty. I don’t think this is right at all, I feel garbage, like I’m doing you and ELFs wrong. I don’t contribute enough, what do I give to Super Junior? I can’t even dance on stage for a full three minutes for stage promotions, I can’t do anything.” Heechul’s own voice also increased with a few decibels as he poured out his inner feelings to Leeteuk.

Leeteuk felt a sting in his eyes as Heechul threw this sudden confession at him. Leeteuk was not expecting this conversation when Heechul texted him asking if they could discuss something. He was at a loss of words, not knowing how to respond to Heechul.

“Look, Teukie, I’ll always be a part of Super Junior, but I won’t be an active member. The scandals I get dragged into smear Super Junior’s name, if I leave, it’ll be the end of all of that too-”

“Shut up!” Leeteuk barked out. “The tabloids are always watching, waiting for us to screw up, that is just another excuse, like everything else you said!” Heechul sighed out, as though he was expecting Leeteuk to react in this manner, but of course Leeteuk would. He loved all his members dearly, and Heechul… Heechul was Leeteuk’s only friend. As the years passed, Leeteuk found the only constant in his life to be Heechul, fair-weathered friends came and went, but Heechul stayed through it all, and for Heechul to want out…

“Listen, Teuk-”

“No! I need you to listen, Kim Heechul. You are not a burden. You don’t need to do anything for Super Junior, we’ve existed for long enough that fans should understand, the members understand, and I understand.” Leeteuk interjected a bit too passionately before stopping. He felt his eyes moisten as he paused, collecting himself before continuing as measuredly as he could, “I don’t need you to do anything, I just need you to be with me. Even if you perform on stage for only a minute or so, it means the world to me. Just you being with us in the waiting room to play with us and take photos with us, it’s enough.” 

“But Teuk, I still feel guilty-” Leeteuk glared at Heechul for him to stop and allow Leeteuk to continue. 

“Chul-ah, we’re not getting any younger. We don’t really have anyone other friends other than each other, I don’t need you around twenty-four-seven, I just need to know that you’ll be there.” Heechul nodded, these words seemingly assuaged his doubts, but there was still some doubt in Heechul’s eyes. 

“But the fans, the public. What will they say? They will view me as a burden to the group, of no use to the members and you,” Heechul’s voice was small like a boy’s, vulnerable. Leeteuk’s eyes softened hearing these words. 

“Heechul-ah, you’re not a burden, you’re my anchor. Don’t listen to them, they don’t matter. If anyone doesn’t understand you, I will hit them for you,” Leeteuk replied steadfastly, a sincere look in his eyes. Heechul started simpering slightly, his frame shaking with mirth.

“Teuk-ah, don’t actually hit anyone please!” Heechul explained as his patented gummy smile adorned his face. Leeteuk too felt a smile dancing along his lips as his dimple appeared on his cheek. 

“I won’t, but no matter what, you’re always a member of Super Junior, alright?” Leeteuk asked seriously. Heechul nodded firmly.

“Always.”

Leeteuk felt his shoulders relax as he patted Heechul’s shoulders and guided him back to the meeting room, his heart feeling slightly more at ease, not knowing that this was the beginning of Heechul slowly becoming out of reach. 

_ Wanna love you but I know better, better _

_ Wanna kiss you but I know better _

_ I know better baby _

_ Wanna kiss you but I know better _

_ Got me telling all my secrets _

_ Got me in and out my feelings tonight _

Leeteuk threw back his third shot of the night as he sat there, wondering if he should have held on tighter. Their relationship was always awkward, but he could have made an effort to reach out more when he still could have. Now, he barely saw Heechul anymore since Heechul no longer actively promoted with Super Junior and was wrapped up in his own shows. Heechul threw himself deeply into variety work from when he stopped promoting actively, pledging to spread Super Junior’s name in a positive light through variety. Leeteuk didn’t doubt it, but at times, whenever he watched clips of Heechul in shows to check up on him, Leeteuk couldn’t help but worry as to whether it was too strenuous for Heechul. 

Leeteuk felt a dull heartache as he thought back to that time he piggybacked Heechul on stage, pledging to carry Heechul if he was ever in pain. Leeteuk would do it ten thousand times even if it caused Leeteuk back problems in the future. Those moments of closeness were few and far between, and now, it was most likely that Leeteuk would never be able to experience them ever again. He should have done more for Heechul, cared more for Heechul, been there more for Heechul, like how Heechul was always there for him.

Now, as the two were so busy with their own schedules, Leeteuk could not even remember the last time the two bumped into each other. Their schedules rarely overlapped, and the already limited number of opportunities for Leeteuk to see Heechul plummeted to the ground. Already, Heechul was too busy to film for Super Junior Returns 4, so how was Leeteuk going to be able to interact with Heechul again?

Whenever Leeteuk would monitor the members’ activities and watch Heechul’s shows, he could barely focus on observing Heechul’s performance as he’d be too busy attempting to tamp down his feelings of longing to see Heechul again. He missed his flamboyant and boisterous presence, missed his witty comebacks, missed the moments where Heechul would be tender, missed the times Heechul would look out for him, he just missed Heechul. But there was nothing that Leeteuk could do now. 

Heechul was flying high with all his solo projects and various gigs, barely having any time for anything else. There was no way that he’d have time for Leeteuk. Their relationship was always that they would be there for each other in times of need, but other than that, they would rarely interact. Heechul probably couldn’t be bothered with Leeteuk at the moment as he had so much going on for himself at the time, so how would Leeteuk even attempt at reaching out?  _ Should I even try? I know better than this. I’d just annoy him, be nothing but a hindrance and distraction.  _

_ Who was wrong, who was right? _

_ Doesn't matter _

_ It'll fade over time _

_ It was what I tell myself _

_ Hit decline on my line when you call now _

_ I'm distant, it's different with you, oh whoa _

Leeteuk wondered how they became so awkward around each other. Yes, they had their rare moments where they could have heart to heart conversations, and they were always honest with each other, but other than that, they could barely have a minute of casual conversation. In their pre-debut days, they used to be able to joke about anything under the sun, talk about any topics without hitches, what had happened?

_ It was after Incheon Battle, when things started to change.  _ Leeteuk snorted as he thought back to 2010, where Leeteuk exploded with all his feelings of accumulated frustration at Heechul and they fought hard. The three months having that cold war didn’t do any good to their relationship, and when they finally reconciled, it wasn’t long before Heechul would enlist, then Leeteuk himself. 

Over that period, many things changed in Leeteuk’s life, and Leeteuk too changed. Leeteuk felt older beyond his years upon being released from military, no longer viewing the world with rose-tinted glasses, becoming much more withdrawn, sombre, and solemn. He grew more cautious, went out a lot less, felt the need to protect and shield himself more. Meanwhile, Heechul mostly remained as the cheerful guy who sometimes lacked a brain to mouth filter, but still thoughtful with a kind heart. Suddenly, the two no longer clicked with each other, and anytime they interacted it was painfully awkward. 

They both still cared for each other, that was clear. Leeteuk thought back to 2011 during their promotions for Mr Simple when the kids would play pranks on Leeteuk and joke around with him despite Leeteuk being exhausted. Heechul would pull the members aside afterwards and tell them off firmly to never do that to his friend. Leeteuk felt his heart warm thinking of those moments, but felt a pang in his chest once more. 

Heechul just seemed so far away, a distant presence in Leeteuk’s life. Heechul felt like a life jacket, a comforting presence, but to only be used in dire situations. Only if Leeteuk needed him would Heechul be there for him, but was just missing Heechul a good reason for Heechul to go to him? Heechul was so busy with his own things, by taking Heechul away from his work, Leeteuk would only be a nuisance to him,  _ right? _ Leeteuk had no clue as to what to do. They could never be on the same wavelength and it hurt Leeteuk to the core. He just wanted to see Heechul again,  _ but how?  _

_ All those nights I cried over us _

_ Where were you then? Where were you then? Baby _

_ I don't wanna feel that again _

_ I'm still afraid, I'm still afraid _

_ And I _

Leeteuk felt a buzz going on as he took another shot. At this point, he lost count of how many shots he had taken, but it was of no matter anyways, he was a lightweight. Leeteuk roughly knew that in no time, he’d be intoxicated beyond belief and drunk silly. He sat back and stretched his arms out, turning to look at his pet dog who was still fast asleep. Leeteuk shut his eyes for a second, feeling a bit lightheaded.

He pulled his phone out from his pocket, checking his lock screen for the time. 12:37am. Leeteuk felt his left cheek thump against the cool marble countertop, chilling against his skin. He unlocked his phone and scrolled through his notifications, clearing any spam or general messages from acquaintances and leaving the notifications for any work-related matters from producers or SM staff from the blurry characters that he could barely read. 

Leeteuk scrolled through his chats before stumbling across his last conversation with Heechul, a text last sent a few months ago. Leeteuk sighed deeply as he wondered if he was being too dramatic. He could always just see Heechul at an award show, or when they started working on their next album, it wasn’t as though Heechul was out of his life. But, while he didn’t need Heechul there, he wanted Heechul to be by his side, and without Heechul, Leeteuk was just miserable. 

Leeteuk felt woozier as the effects of drinking started to set in more. He decided that he had enough alcohol for the night, he was going to get drunk off his face already anyways. He continued to scroll aimlessly on his phone, going onto Instagram to check his fellow members’ posts, though refraining from commenting on any of them. He didn’t want to accidentally comment something inappropriate. He chuckled at a few of the updates showing how the members were doing with their own individual schedules and how they seemed to be having an enjoyable time doing them. And lastly, Heechul’s account. Leeteuk scanned through his page and felt his heart physically clench in pain staring at photos of him. 

_ If Heechul were here, he’d make fun of me for being this drunk already,  _ Leeteuk thought humorlessly. Leeteuk thought back to what seemed to be ages ago, where the two would sneak out to go clubbing. Nowadays, it was well-known that Leeteuk wasn’t one who partook in the party scene. He’d be the last person people would ask for a night out of drinks. Heechul would most definitely choose a night out with his drinking buddies rather than him. Leeteuk knew this, but acknowledging that thought just made him hurt even more.  _ This is pathetic. What am I doing here, wasting my time over this? I should just rest. Resting sounds good, yes, just scroll a bit more, then I’ll go to bed… _

“Ding-dong!” 

_ Wanna love you but I know better, better _

_ Wanna kiss you but I know better _

_ I know better baby _

_ Wanna kiss you but I know better _

_ Got me telling all my secrets _

_ Got me in and out my feelings tonight _

Leeteuk was startled out of his slumber on his kitchen’s countertop, eyes opened widely as he looked around frantically.  _ I fell asleep without even heading to bed, good Lord, am I lightweight.  _ Leeteuk checked the time once again, 1:30am.  _ Who on earth would be here at this hour, did something bad happen?  _ Leeteuk knew that the only people who could come up to his apartment at that hour were either people who were on his list of allowed visitors or a food runner delivering. Leeteuk personally hoped that it was simply the latter and that he ordered food while he was drunk. He felt the bubbling of worry creep up his spine along with an incoming headache as he stood up.  _ I hope whoever it is who’s here, it isn’t anything too serious. _

Leeteuk glanced at Shimkoong to find that she was still fast asleep, thankfully, otherwise, she’d be busy barking and yipping away, and would probably result in Leeteuk having a full-blown migraine. Leeteuk slowly meandered his way to the corridor of his main entrance as he continued to ponder as to who would visit at this hour. 

“Coming, I’m coming,” Leeteuk whispered softly, more to himself than anyone else. He reached his front door and ripped the door open hurriedly. It was late at night and he didn’t wish to waste anyone’s time and hold them back from other things, especially at the wee hours of the night. He twisted the door knob and flung the door wide open quickly but quietly in hopes that Koongie would remain asleep. The person on the other side of the door left Leeteuk in utter shock. 

Standing directly opposite of himself was Kim Heechul, sporting a short blowout haircut, different from the long black tresses that Heechul had in photos.  _ Ah, he cut his hair and I didn’t even know… _ Leeteuk remembered that time he told Heechul that long hair suited him the most and how Heechul would grow his hair out because of Leeteuk’s words. Heechul was wearing his usual bright red tracksuit, not necessarily being a sight for sore eyes but causing Leeteuk’s eyes to be sore.  _ God, that is too bright of a colour to be staring at at almost 2 in the morning.  _

Leeteuk blinked at Heechul dumbly, unsure of what to say. What was he going to say anyways? _ “Hey, how have you been?” “Feels like I haven’t seen you in years.” “What are you doing here and why now?”  _ Leeteuk had been yearning to see Heechul in the flesh for so long, and now that Heechul had materialized right in front of his face, Leeteuk was wondering if this was simply a manifestation, a hallucination, that he was still drunk. Heechul regarded Leeteuk’s figure, before quirking an eyebrow and smirking.

“So, you’re not letting me inside, Teuk-ah?”

Leeteuk snapped out of his temporary daze at Heechul’s sudden appearance at his doorstep, still utterly confused as to why Heechul was there. But after hearing Heechul’s voice, Leeteuk was slightly more convinced that he wasn’t dreaming, and Heechul was probably actually in front of him. Leeteuk hurriedly stepped aside from the entrance, allowing Heechul to step through the doorway, which he did so promptly. 

Heechul turned around swiftly to shut the door behind himself, before walking straight past Leeteuk and sauntered through the hallway without saying another word. Leeteuk felt even more questions come to his mind as he followed behind. Heechul made his way through Leeteuk’s home as though he was the one who owned the place, not Leeteuk. He headed straight for the kitchen counter as Leeteuk padded behind.  _ Why is Heechul even here at this hour? Did something happen? Why did he come to me? _ Simply put, Leeteuk was bewildered.

_ Wanna love you but I know better, better _

_ Wanna kiss you but I know better _

_ I know better baby _

_ Wanna kiss you but I know better _

_ Got me telling all my secrets _

_ Got me in and out my feelings tonight _

Heechul picked up the half empty bottle of soju set on the table before turning to Leeteuk with a smile twitching on his face, “Teuk-ah, you finished half the bottle? You’re most definitely wasted right now.” Heechul chuckled lightly as he placed the bottle back down. Leeteuk frowned slightly at Heechul’s jibing, but at the moment, it wasn’t Leeteuk’s main priority. 

“I know I’m drunk, but that’s not the point. What are you doing here, Heechul-ah? Did something happen? Do you need my help for anything?” Leeteuk asked as gently and calmly as he could, but he was mentally preparing himself for a larger problem and was doing his best to stay calm. Normally, if Heechul faced any problems, while he would appear fine outwardly, there was a chance that he could actually be rather frantic about the issue. So, it was best for Leeteuk to remain as level-headed as he possibly could in case there was actually a problem. However, to Leeteuk’s surprise, Heechul simply shook his head before replying. 

“Teukie, you messaged me earlier saying that you missed me so I came over right away,” Heechul explained softly while unlocking his phone and showing his screen to Leeteuk, displaying a message sent from Leeteuk at 12:52am that wrote simply, “Heechul-ah, I miss you.” Leeteuk felt himself do a double-take seeing that message, before checking his own phone, and  _ yeap. I sent that message, alright. It must have been after I scrolled through Heechul’s Instagram page. How embarrassing.  _ Leeteuk looked back up to Heechul sheepishly, feeling his cheeks burn in a shade of rose. 

“Ah, I did,” Leeteuk trailed off as he rubbed his neck awkwardly. 

“Teukie, are you okay?” Heechul asked seriously. “How have you been? Has something been bothering you? Are the kids being annoying? You know I’ll tell them off if they’re being too much for you.” Leeteuk felt his eyes water at these words. Always, Heechul would be his main pillar of support, his rock to fall back onto. Heechul rushed over to Leeteuk in the dead of night just because of a single text from him. Leeteuk felt both touched by Heechul’s actions and frustrated at himself. It was the weekend, but still, Heechul was so busy and Leeteuk was disrupting Heechul’s sleep schedule. 

“Ah, the kids have been fine, Heechul. Don’t worry, they’ve been good, mostly. Sorry for worrying you Chul-ah, but it’s late right now, you should go and rest. You’re so busy nowadays with all of your schedules, you should rest more. I’m sorry for bothering you Heechul,” Leeteuk hurriedly responded, hoping to assuage Heechul’s concerns, but Heechul was giving Leeteuk a discerning look, before he continued. 

“That’s good to know, but you still haven’t answered me one thing. How are you, Leeteuk? Have you been doing alright?” Heechul looked Leeteuk straight in the eyes as he asked Leeteuk gently and firmly, and Leeteuk felt as though he was on the brink of breaking down. Leeteuk pressed his lips together before inhaling and exhaling deeply. 

“Chul, I- I honestly don’t know. I don’t think so. No, I’m not okay, Heechul.” A slight frown appeared on Heechul’s face as his eyebrows furrowed.

“Why, Teukie, you know you can tell me anything. What’s wrong?” Heechul pressed on for answers. Leeteuk turned his face, unable to face Heechul and look him in the eye, but a comforting hand on his shoulder and another on his cheek that guided Leeteuk’s gaze back onto Heechul’s stopped him. “Tell me, Teukie.” Leeteuk felt the first tear roll down his cheek and land on Heechul’s hand as he finally responded.

“It’s you, Heechul. I miss you so much.” 

_ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, oh baby _

_ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, oh baby _

_ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh _

_ Got me telling all my secrets _

_ Got me in and out my feelings tonight _

“It’s been months since I last saw you, Heechul. Already, we don’t see each other often but now, I barely see you at all. We’ve stopped talking for quite a while and you’re the only one who I feel comfortable sharing my thoughts with as I don’t want to overburden the kids. But you’re so busy and I don’t know how I should reach out to you,” Leeteuk confessed as tears started flowing from the pools in his eyes. Heechul gave Leeteuk a concerned look as Leeteuk poured out all of his inner feelings. 

“At times, you feel so far away,” Leeteuk confessed quietly, “and truthfully, you’re my only friend. I feel so… alone, Heechul. I’m just lonely.” Leeteuk sniffled slightly. Heechul seemed rather taken aback by everything, just observing Leeteuk silently, and once Leeteuk uncapped all his bottled-up emotions, there was no stopping them, so Leeteuk just steamrolled on.

“Throughout all the promotions, touring, or just doing group schedules, it always feels as though something is missing as you aren’t around to accompany us. It sounds stupid but something feels off and I always feel empty at the end of the day. I just miss you a lot. But I’m just being stupid as you’re so busy, why am I even bothering you right now when you have so many things to deal with. I should just stop n-”

Leeteuk stopped abruptly mid-sentence as he was suddenly engulfed in a warm embrace, arms wrapping tightly around his shoulders, putting a stop to Leeteuk’s sobbing session. Leeteuk felt startled since Heechul was rarely one to over initiate physical contact, but the hug was really comforting, and Leeteuk found his arms hesitantly snaking around Heechul’s frame to hug him back. A hand trailed upwards and cupped the back of Leeteuk’s head gently before it started to caress his head soothingly. Leeteuk rested his head against Heechul’s shoulder as hot tears continued to stream down his face and onto Heechul’s tracksuit. 

The two stayed in the embrace for a few minutes, with Heechul’s gentle strokes against his head and the silence of the house comforting the anguish in Leeteuk’s heart. The hand at the back of his head moved and Leeteuk lifted his head off Heechul’s shoulder to look at him. The hand went straight to Leeteuk’s cheeks to wipe the crystalline tears off Leeteuk’s glass skin. Heechul gave Leeteuk a tender look as he intoned softly.

“Pabo. I’m here now, Teukie. Stop crying.”  _ Idiot, when you tell someone to stop crying, it makes them want to cry more.  _ Leeteuk tried to blink away his tears but it only brought forth more. Heechul gave a hearty laugh as he continued to wipe away Leeteuk’s tears.

“Aish, stop crying Teukie,” Heechul said delicately, “It doesn’t suit your face, you should smile instead. I’m here now, and I am always a message or call away, Leeteuk. It’s not stupid if you miss me, and I missed you too, if you didn’t know.” Leeteuk felt his ears perk up at those words. 

“You missed me?” Leeteuk asked earnestly.

“Of course, Teuk-ah. I miss all the members, but I miss you the most out of all of them. I think we both know that we’re pretty awkward, but I’ll try and reach out more, okay? I’ll be there for you, just like how you’re always there for me,” Heechul answered reassuringly. “You too tell me whenever you want to meet, alright? We’re not getting any younger, Teukie, so we have to cherish each other more.” Leeteuk nodded in agreement at this resolution. 

Heechul gently pulled away from Leeteuk, leaving Leeteuk to feel a slight sense of disappointment at the loss of contact between them. However, this feeling left Leeteuk quickly as he immediately felt Heechul’s arm reach across his back and wrap around his shoulders. 

“Since you already have a bottle open, let’s have some more tonight. I don’t have any schedules tomorrow until late in the afternoon. And knowing you, you don’t either, otherwise, you wouldn’t have drunk tonight,” Heechul exclaimed a bit too exuberantly. Leeteuk shook his head softly at how Heechul knew Leeteuk and his habits too well. 

“Yah, don’t drink anymore for now though. I need to catch up to you first,” Heechul jibed gently as he guided Leeteuk to the bar stools, pulling a chair out for Leeteuk to sit before heading straight to Leeteuk’s cupboard to grab another shot glass, clearly familiar with the layout of Leeteuk’s house. 

“Anyways, let’s drink to our heart’s content and just have a good time, alright, Teukie?” Leeteuk smiled at Heechul as he patted Leeteuk’s back before sliding up next to him, having them sit shoulder to shoulder, and started pouring out a shot for himself. Leeteuk looked on fondly as Heechul recounted a funny experience he had while shooting for a commercial, feeling the ice in his heart melt away slowly with the warmth radiating from Heechul’s body. 

_ (Telling all my secrets _

_ In and out my feelings tonight) _

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you all enjoyed this teukchul one-shot! I had fun writing it! It's been a while since I posted but I'm glad to be back! Please leave your thoughts on the story in the comments below (I read and reply to every single one of them and appreciate them all!) I probably will not have a continuation to this story but if you have any teukchul ideas that you'd like to see come to life (in fanfiction) then you can always drop me a message here or on Twitter @horsieteukie (I respond a lot faster on Twitter though I only log into this account once a day for a few days after I post a story as I suuuuuck). 
> 
> Regarding wonteuk, it's still my OTP for sure guys chill out! I am actually in the midst of writing a wonteuk au fanfiction but THE THING IS, I am a high school student who has national examinations for the next two and a half months so I'll be busy u-u. I've written some of it but I haven't touched the document in about three weeks and won't be anytime soon due to my own commitments. I don't like leaving half-done works up as I understand that feeling of waiting for a fic to update but it takes years and by then you've decayed into a fossil (woohoo) so I hope you understand! Probably won't post another story for a while (unless I start stress-writing because studying is stressful).
> 
> Anyways, once again, you can always find me on Twitter @horsieteukie so you can talk to me about this fic, any prompts you'd like me to write or just about Suju in general! I hope that you all are doing okay right now and I'll see you all next time! Bai bai~! ><


End file.
